Freedom from Gambling
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do-this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7:15-20 NIV
While I was in prison, I was BLESSED to take a twelve step course that was provided by the Alcohol and Drug Addiction Center at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California. It helped me to see some of the areas in my life that were out of control.
One of the major things out of control in my life was gambling. I spent almost every weekend in Las Vegas featuring in night clubs with my sister. The night life seemed like so much fun, especially gambling. It was such a rush of adrenaline when I’d win. I let gambling become a stronghold in my life. Every time I’d loose several thousand dollars, I would just say to myself “ I’ll just bet more next time and win it back.” After about a year, I knew I had a problem, but the temptation was so great, my life became unmanageable. This stronghold is one of the reasons I went to prison. I was "robbing Peter to pay Paul" - so to speak - to satisfy my addiction.
What do you do when you have a uncontrollable desire to gamble. What do you do when you desperately want to do things which are against your own better judgment? In the twelve step course that I took, they used the term compulsion for gambling. They wrote how” compulsion also creates emotional stress. We feel frustrated over our lack of self-control. We experience guilt and anxiety and fear. These negative feelings are compounded if compulsion involves the use of mind-altering chemicals such as alcohol or drugs. We may think, at times, we are going crazy.
Our compulsion is also a disease of the spirit. When we are in bondage to something of this world, we cannot at the same time love and serve GOD (Matthew6:24). Our compulsion separates us from GOD. Because our compulsion cripples us, it has a damaging influence in every area of our lives.
We are powerless over our compulsion. We may not fully realize, however, just how unmanageable our lives have become or how powerless we are. When we are compulsive, our thinking is usually clouded, and we may be unaware of how DESTRUCTIVE and OUT-OF-CONTROL our behavior is. Our compulsion may have progressed in so subtle and gradual a way that we fail to see what is happening to us.
Initially the thing we have chosen to do or to have gives us great pleasure. We feel it works for us. We feel we are in control and making good choices. We seem to not notice that we are always making the same choice- to do or to have more.
When we begin to sense our loss of control and the negative effect it is having on ourselves and on others, we become depressed. At that point our compulsion no longer gives us great pleasure. It just gets us from feeling bad to feeling a little better, and we need MORE- and MORE often- to feel okay. We need more and get less. The thing that once worked for us has turned on us. But we are unable to turn from it. We have become powerless.
Because we pride ourselves on being self-reliant, we avoid seeking outside help for our problem. Only when we are desperate enough do we swallow our pride and turn to books or to professionals. Sometimes we feel the advice we are given is not helpful and we reject it. Other times we recognize it as good advice and we do our best to follow it-only to fail. We seem unable to benefit from what others tell us. Our compulsive behavior continues, and we grow increasingly discouraged.
In dealing with compulsion, the wisdom of men and women is incomplete. The advice of a nutritionist, for instance, cannot help the compulsive overeater who is unable to stay on a diet. The counseling of a psychologist is of little value to the patient whose drinking keeps him in a state of drugged confusion. When it comes to compulsive behavior, the wisdom of men and women must be linked with THE WISDOM and POWER of GOD. When we give up trusting in ourselves and in other people to have all the answers, we take the first step towards recovery. Our feeling of helplessness- of powerlessness-is what makes us turn to GOD for HIS answer. It is then that we are open to HIS POWER in our lives.”
When Bartimus approached JESUS for healing, it was obvious he was blind. Certainly JESUS knew he was blind. Yet JESUS asked him what he wanted, and Bartimus said he wanted to be able to see (Mark 10:51). In order for us to RECEIVE HELP, we must truly WANT HELP. Our healing begins when we ACKNOWLEDGE our problem and our need.”
This twelve step course helped change my life. I pray you if you are having any sort of compulsion in your life that you first recognize you have a problem, second that you need help, most of all from GOD in CHRIST JESUS.